Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
