last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
