Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
