Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
