My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You can't just leave with hair like that
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
