the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize