how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
