handjob tips. give me some.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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