In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
