He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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