If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
