if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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