Can i not drive my cunt home
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
