People in love make me want to vomit
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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