I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
