Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Pants are for mortals
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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