Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
