Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
