Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
