I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I understand Curling. That high.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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