I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
