I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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