I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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