He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
