the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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