So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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