i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
