i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
