I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
