Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Is Oprah even human
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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