You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
