His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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