Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize