these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
