so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
