She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
