No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
