I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
