So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
