would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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