She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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