Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
