i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize