i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
