I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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