I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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