Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
