Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
