8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i came on her dog
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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