I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Randomize
