where does the pee come out of this thing
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
