When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
