no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
