just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
