woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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