I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
