i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
