I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
