I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
