im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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