nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
