Its about making memories worth repressing
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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