You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
