That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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