I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
