friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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