it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
